Posted May 22, 2011 // 0 comments (+)I'd come to this stage where i just wanna scream, cry, fight, and try. But all i can do is to smile and hide the pain inside. I just don't know who to entrust my trust with, nobody is able to give me the intuition that they can indeed be trusted. Well, that explains why i only trust 5 people.
Many things had happened recently.. My best friends and including my boyfriend had been mentally tortured because they know i am not fine. They ensured me that things will go right someday, and i just can't seem to explain to them fully what's in my god damn mind. That's when my indecisive moment got the better of me. I composed a text and then delete it, write it all over again, stared at it, and then never send it. The reason why i keep things to myself is mainly because of my heart not being able to accept what people have to reply and all. That's the only way for me to avoid many problems.. I know i shouldn't be a coward.
I have got nowhere to rant, i feel horrible and extremely vulnerable. Ironically, if i was happy at all times, i'll never be able to appreciate life. That's because sometimes we need to miss things in order to realize how valuable and essential it is. If i was happy all the time, i'd not be truly happy.
I need a hug. :(
Sometimes, i just wonder while i'm daydreaming.. When will all these nonsensical thoughts of mine come to an end. I can take it no more, not anymore..
Sorry readers! Pardon me for updating my blog with such negative post. I just need somewhere to rant.
If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart.. I'll be there forever.